Do you like fresh tomatoes straight out of the garden? I sure do!! I look forward to all of those green orbs turning to red; I anticipate the thick, fragrant slices of the Beefsteak or Better Boy in my sandwiches; I long for the sweet burst of the cherry tomato in my salad. I even had plans to make my own tomato sauce from the Roma tomatoes I planted this year.

But my September will be sadly tomato-less. The leaves have withered on the vines, and those bright green promises of tomatoey goodness have been decimated by an until-now-unidentified culprit.

The carnage!!

I suppose in a way it shouldn't be a surprise -- I do live at the end of a cul-de-sac and am bordered on two sides by woods, so bunnies and raccoons and birds are not unexpected. And I thought surely it had to be one of those critters who so blithely robbed me of my autumnal bliss, for no mere insect could possibly have completely eaten the better part of a large tomato.

And it turns out I was right: no mere insect did eat my tomatoes -- they were freaking GIANT RABID MUTANT NINJA CATERPILLARS FROM OUTER SPACE!!!!

o_O

These extraterrestrials are bigger around than my finger!! With wicked little barbs on their asses! And they cling to my tomato vines like inadvertent velcro on your best lace panties!! I have not yet found the spacecraft that deposited these beings in my garden, but I'm on the lookout. I would lend them my cell to phone home, but they'd probably eat that too! Freaking beam them up already, Scotty!!

Ick!!!!

Oh, my poor tomatoes. :-(